365 Days of Awesome Things - Day 1 of 365

Since I haven't posted a blog entry in a year and a half, I thought I would take the opportunity the new year affords us all to start fresh. This is actually a project that will cover all 365 days of the year. Each day I will recommend something that will bring joy to your miserable lives. I can't say for a fact that you're all miserable, but from what I can gather from the Facebook news feed, many of you are. You're not appreciated. You have a past that people won't let you forget. You've been hurt. You're an emotional cripple. We get it. You're screwed up. So is the rest of the human race. We just don't whine about it quite as much as you. But, I digress.

If you're like me, you never, ever, click on the links people include in their status updates when they say "this song is great"! Also, if you're like me, you know it's because their taste is very, very dull.

Now, with me, it's different. I'm a certified genius, and I have the paperwork from the Massachusetts State Genius Level IQ Panel* to prove it. Everything I say is interesting, witty, and guaranteed** to turn even the most miserable and boring individual into a slightly less miserable and boring individual.

So, enough with the yak yak. Here we go.

*Organization does not exist
**Guaranteed results not guaranteed

Mark's Recommendations for a Happier Life
January 1st, 2013

The Muppets

If you don't like the Muppets, it's safe to say you are a terrible person. Everybody likes the Muppets. They're cute, witty, and are probably better dinner conversation than anyone else I know, despite the fact that they have a hand thrust up their butts. I dare you to watch The Great Muppet Caper and not laugh when Kermit asks if anyone brought anything to cut through steel bars with, and Lew Zealand helpfully offers a roll of paper towels.  It's OK to not like the movies produced after Jim Henson passed away, although 2011's The Muppets is close to genius. I, mean, c'mon - The Swedish Chef with a flame thrower? You can tell he's saying "say hello to my little friend" before he torches the fridge full of rotten food. Good stuff. Good stuff.